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How to write your online dating profile to attract the right kind of man at any age

Writing your online dating profile is a little like writing a job application - just potentially leads to a helluva lot more fun.

And your level of success depends on two things: knowing what you want, and knowing what you have to offer.

It’s good to be open to meeting whoever is good for you, but knowing what you want narrows that down quite a bit and speeds up the process. What are you looking for? Just a bit of fun? A bit of eye candy for a night out (or in)? Or someone you’d love to spend the rest of your life with? What kind of person might he be, what does he do, what does he love doing, eating, talking about?

Having these questions in mind helps you start the conversation with him before you even meet (i.e. in your dating profile).

And now, on to the topic of you! 

To know exactly what to put into your profile, here's the top 10 of profile writing:

  1. Avoid clichés… We already know that you’re looking for someone honest! And there are other ways to show that you want more than a one night stand than writing it out. This is where the meaningful conversation comes into the picture. Your profile is the first piece in this conversation - with a real human being with great qualities and honest intentions. Talk to him. Anyone who doesn’t belong in those categories won’t be attracted to your profile because they will see who you are so you can ignore them and be happy knowing that you don’t actually need to engage with them. 

  2. Don’t be shy… show who you really are. Maybe don’t reveal all of your strange fetishes at this point but just like a job interview, the two of you want to find out if you’re good for each other. If you don’t reveal much, he won’t be able to sense just how nice it is to spend time with you. So inject a bit of personality and interest and dare to be who you really are.

  3. What makes you laugh? What are you interested in? What are you super passionate about? Think conversation starters and stuff you’d actually enjoy chatting about or discussing over dinner.

  4. What’s the best part about spending time with you? This you should most definitely include and ideally in more ways than one - it’s (obviously) a major selling point. And the good thing is that is also helps to filter out the ones who are not right for you because they don’t like the sound of it. That’s the whole point, you're narrowing your focus on only the great men for you.

  5. And of course… be honest, be positive, don’t complain. Show the real you and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. And sort out your baggage on your own - don’t bring it into a new relationship.

  6. Give enough details to show what you love to do and how you choose to spend your time and live your life, also the more boring elements, but…

  7. Keep it FUN! Even if you love organising your kitchen drawers, now is not the time to talk about that. Think about what’s fun to share with others, what you want to do with him and what you would like to do next. How you spend your personal down-time is less interesting to him at this stage (although if you do have netfreak tendencies, of course, make sure to check that he also enjoys a tidy home environment in due course).

  8. What do you bring to a relationship? This is important clarity that helps you to create something meaningful with someone else. And if you can describe it as part of the meaningful conversation, you can use it to narrow down your potential men to only the ones who are more likely to be right for you.

  9. Include a couple of good profile photos - pictures that tell a bit of a story are great. Maybe a picture of you doing something you love or being somewhere you love to go. If the picture tells a story about you, you are showing sides of yourself that the right man would like to know. And just be yourself. Choose pictures that show you as you are, attractive ones of course but no need to pretend to be someone you are not. It will only backfire anyway as you will attract someone who is looking for something else than you.

  10. Have FUN! I know I mentioned fun already but the whole process should be fun! This is meant to be a really pleasant experience so have fun with it. Leave your hesitations or past hurts in the past and put your true intention into your profile and all your contacts with potential dates.

And never forget that not everyone is right for everyone. Do not feel discouraged if it doesn't turn out right the first time. The only thing it means is that this one, wasn't the right one.


Online dating isn’t for you?

It’s not a problem, there are numerous other ways to meet a man. Read the blog "how to meet a perfect man after 40" and get some ideas for how to do that too.

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