• Dorte

How to attract a man's attention at 40+

Updated: Jun 16, 2020

Sometimes, you may need to make a little extra effort to be noticed! 

Especially if you're naturally quiet or discreet or don’t enjoy needing to push your boobs in his face to be seen. 

The worst way to do this is indeed to dress up very "cheap" or provocatively (at least if you are hoping for something other than simple sex) and thankfully there are loads of other flirtatious but classy and fun ways to catch a man's eye and to grow his desire to know you better.

I) It's good to be a little flirty... flirty, not throwing around sexual innuendos or showing too much skin. For instance to attract the attention of someone on the other side of the room, catch his eye, hold the gaze a short moment (but long enough), smile a soft smile and look away. You can repeat it if needed. It's like an invitation to come and say hello to you but without you being cheap. You're just telling him that you like what you see and would like to know more about him.

II) Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact. When you speak to him, hold his gaze, look deep into his eyes to see who he is and to let him see you. It's a sure way to know if he is interested and to communicate what you feel when looking at him so don't be shy. And looking into his eyes you will get a real feel for his energy and who he is so don't miss this opportunity to check him out.

III) Body language. Remember the importance of being open and feminine, also in terms of your body language. Do not cross your arms in front of your body. Smile a lot. Hold his gaze. Lean towards him when you are talking - this shows that you are interested, which feels good to the other person. Don't be too serious, just stay relaxed, open, chatty - smile and have a good time. That's totally irresistible and the right man will want more.

IV) Be feminine. Men like femininity which you can show by demonstrating your sweet, open, kind and interested side. Use your feminity to show him in sweet ways that you enjoy speaking to him. You can touch his arm, laugh when he says something funny. Listen carefully to what he tells you and don't feel a need to 'retaliate' with similar stories. Nobody likes to listen to someone bragging, the idea here is to start to get to know each other and to show the parts that you like, show interest in the other person, show your femininity and hint to your sensuality while showing who you are and how interesting you are to be with.

V) Catch his interest. It feels very flattering to anyone to feel that the other person is interested in who we are. It's also what allows us to build connections which is the ultimate idea behind flirting (at least in this book!). To do this, ask him genuine questions about what he likes to do, his interests and other questions that show you who he is. Look for things the two of you have in common and good topics you both enjoy talking about. Compliment him if you feel like it, joke with him. Don't be too serious and just enjoy listening to his voice and what he chooses to share with you for now.

VI) Keep your expectations low and your feet on the ground! Even if you really like this man and you feel like he is blowing you off your feet, do not get carried away and start immediately to dream about him being your one and only. It only puts pressure on both him and on yourself and the fear of disappointment can push anyone away, and fast. Neediness and desperation is not attractive and it will push any man away so don't come across that way. Think of yourself when in front of a needy man, you will most likely also feel like getting as far away from him as possible. Let things evolve as they will. Stay in the now and have fun, simply enjoying the now. By staying cool, taking it slow, remaining open and unattached, you give it the best chances of becoming something more at the right time.

And never forget... if someone doesn't respond to you the way you had hoped, it means one thing and one thing only... that this was not the right person for you.

Use flirting as a way to connect with your own feminine side, to have fun, to increase your self-esteem by feeling that you are attractive to others and to create some good-feeling connection with others. It can also give you a real boost to how you feel in yourself, about life and your energy in general.

But never forget that not everyone is right for everyone. So do not let it bring you down if it doesn't turn out like you wanted to this time. You deserve true love and the man who is just right for you and you should never lose faith that sooner or later, you will have it. Know you own worth and always fully respect yourself. Respecting yourself means that others will too.

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