Dating during times of Corona Virus!
Some of us may be wondering if the world will ever go back to how it was before! Or even want it to…
And what do we do about dating.
What’s for sure is that right now is not the time to go out on dates and meeting lots of new people. And a date with 2m distance between you both may not be what you had in mind.
So with everything else having gone online, let’s take dating online too.
As you know that’s nothing really new.
But maybe you didn't consider it much before? Or perhaps, the new news is that even the actual date will now have to happen online.
Let’s look at it to see how best to prepare…
First of all, do you know the various dating sites?
What’s the difference between them? Are some of them better than others? You will need to make a choice of course - and in most cases be willing to pay a fee to sign up.
That’s kind of the easy part. Choose one you like the look of and that you feel matches your personality (Match is probably a good general one for a newbie although I know women who swear by Tinder and Bumble). Have a look around and make a choice. One is enough for now. And don’t be fooled by the pretty profile pictures they show you before you become a member… they are NOT the actual guys on the site…!
Next… create your profile! Did you ever think about what you would put in your dating profile before?
You might think it’s all about you.
But it’s actually about them.
It’s about what you think your perfect guy would really like to know about you. And that might not be what you would like him to know.
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus and all of that. But also just simply think about the fact that what men and women react to at first is not always the same.
And remember that in your profile, you set the tone for the date and potentially even for the relationship. If your main focus is to have a sex, then by all means focus on that. But if you want a relationship, then find a way to convey what it’s like to be with you, so that the other person can see if you are the right type of person for them. That's how you attract the ones that you might enjoy hanging out with too.
Now let’s get to the picking a man stage.. This one is fun!
Men are notoriously bad at profile pictures so you may need a bit of creativity for this one. In short don’t get too hung up on the photo - look for signs of who the person is. He probably won’t have gone to a professional photographer for his photo and he may be less used to taking selfies than you. So look at what the photos tells you about him. What do his eyes tell you? Does he have a smile that makes you feel good? Does he dress like someone you would choose to hang out with?
And finally the contact making - how do you get the conversation to run well? Well obviously there needs to be a certain connection or the conversation will be boring as will most likely any future date.
But if the initial connection is there, what do you talk about? What do you want to know about the person? What do you want the other person to know about you? Things like what do you have in common, what are you both interested in - as well as of course a bit of background to know who you’re talking to. Possibly a lot of background if the conversation is running well overall and this is someone you actually feel like knowing.
I know it can be fun to dive into some naughty chatting too and once again of course do it if you feel like it. Just keep in mind that you are setting the expectations for both of you for where ever you want to take this. As long as you are happy with how it goes, then great. But if all you ever talk about is sex, then you probably won’t ever talk about anything but sex. So keep a balance. And don’t mistake an interest in sex talk for an interest in you as a person.
Now to the tricky part… you’ve connected with someone and you want to know them better.
First rule of all, stay safe. Always stay safe. Do not give any of your personal information to anyone, not even if he seems like the nicest person on earth. Never go to meet anyone without having other people around and tell someone where you go. Don’t ever go to anyone’s house or hotel room - especially not now with Covid-19 but not even in general either as you just never know.
And for now, with covid-19 and all of the restrictions, what are your options…? Well you still have quite a few even if the level of intimacy may be fairly compromised for now.
The easiest one is definitely an online date. Literally a date online - dress up, put on some make-up, agree on the drinks and snacks to have ready and the time to meet and have your first date on Skype or Zoom.
You can also meet for a walk or bicycle ride in fresh air as long as you respect the distance between you. But maybe it’s less good for talking that way? It depends on what you prefer…
Whatever you do, get off the chats… messages are great for the initial contact making and in between face to face contact but you won’t get to really know the person if you stick to only text messages.
New to dating after divorce? Or haven’t had the best results so far? Contact me and let me help you. I offer dating after divorce coaching and have already helped many women feel great about this potentially very fun stage of post-married life.
Read more here!